i can’t believe i stopped posted on tumblr, it’s the one thing that many people do NOT follow. DEFINITELY looking forward to posting more on here. moving on to better news … . . ARMIN VAN BUUREN NEXT MONTH! yes, i can officially be closer to dying happy :)
“i’d like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me, i’d like to be the help that you’ve been always glad to be; i’d like to mean as much to you each minute of the day, as you have meant old friend of mine, to me along the way”
today was just a horrible day overall. lack of sleep due to a mistake made by my university delayed me from seeing if i had moved on to second year but also delayed other important things. after finally figuring out what was the main problem, i realized i couldn’t do much of anything except wait patiently. what did i do? well what i do best, i curled up in my blanket and fell asleep. for the six straight hours that i was sitting in front of my laptop clicking view over and over again i had the support of friends. from left to right i had someone watching after me, asking and wondering if i’m okay and trying to do everything in their power to help me get through this. i guess i don’t ever thank my friends and i am grateful to have friends not only in this continent but another one which i miss terribly : ) you don’t realize how much someone means to you until you get up and leave. until you lose touch and then it hits you, wow that person meant THIS much to me but i never saw it that way. i like to take advantage of every moment, every minute i have with my friends, with my loved ones because honestly you don’t have tomorrow guaranteed. i won’t be going as far as saying we might die because that’s going to happen but people change, time changes us and when that change comes some people stick around and some people go so enjoy the time you have RIGHT NOW. i have amazing memories with alot of people who i don’t see for months but once i meet them it’s as if we never parted, those are the relationships worth keeping. worth cherishing. no matter how low you are, how disgusted you feel about yourself these are the people who will think you are so beautiful and bring out the best in you. so be thankful, be thankful for having another day with the ones you are surrounded by because they might end up leaving and you might not have enjoyed it to the fullest.
bliss to the perfection
<3
i present to youuuuu Alizeh!
love youuuu so much & i am damm proud of you
xoxo
my inspiration: you.
we lose inspiration, we gain inspiration but why do we lose it in the first place?
what is inspiration really? the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something. i think we lose inspiration due to the fact that we lose ourselves, we lose the purpose of being. once that is gone, we have nothing to look forward to. when we don’t believe in ourselves how can we even inspire to do anything? that’s where things go wrong, we should never lose hope for ourselves. another thing we tend to look for inspiration at the wrong places. maybe in someone else, maybe it’s a thing but is that what truly inspires you because it might not be. i stopped writing because nothing was inspiring me until i really saw what did and guess what? yeaaah, it was something quite unexpected. the unexpected is what brings about excitement, the unexpected is what shows us that we can do what we set our mind too, we can go get whatever we set our eyes on. i think people give up toooo easily, ahhhh don’t! there is always light at the end of the tunnel, TRUST ME! i hear people always giving up but if you look a little deeper inside of you then you will see. don’t always think someone will be there to pick you up if you’re down or if you’ve stopped believing. at the end of the day, it is always going to be you who will take care of YOU. no one else. if there is a helping hand, take it but always know you are on your own. start believing in THAT or else you won’t ever be yourself.
besides that, stay happy.
smileeeeeeee : )
best medicineeee ever!
“i loveee you from your toes to your faceeeeee “
if it’s love by train
it’s done.
hmmm, was it worth all the trying?
who knowwwww, thanks for disappearing but wish you all the best in life
lesson learned: don’t fall for assumptions, dig for the truth and you’ll see that your assumptions were far from it.
you’ve broken me down pretty badly but i’ll be alright. time heals everything. soon enough. you might be living your life but someday you’ll realize. someday. nothing lasts forever.
this has to be how my life is right now. i couldn’t agree more but i’m so disappointed because that one person who i thought wouldn’t let anything get in the way, did. you put so much trust within someone when i honestly know that i am not so trustworthy. i am willing to say that i am immune to hurting people that tend to get close to me, why? i don’t know the answer, maybe that is my way of saying i care for you more then the others because i am willing to invite you to experience every side of me but do people really understand this aspect of the human mind. giving up, is it that easy? one day you get a phone call from a person threatening your life & you stop speaking to that one person who you truly thought was your own. life works in weird ways & my mind is everywhere. i feel as if i’ve lost someone, i feel as if a part of me is gone. that there is a whole inside my chest, a void that can never be filled & i don’t know how to move on … to move forward. will i ever stop feeling this way? will i ever stop anticipating a phone call or a text? will i ever stop wondering if i should call or not? will i ever stop thinking is it really over? these thoughts, they keep running in my mind. i need to be sane again, the devils in my head need to be taken care of but how? is there anyone out there to help? the person who could has disappeared, will i ever be the same again?
one thing is for sure, i won’t give up
so i was just watching the beginning of the show “mental” interesting stuff. the guy was on top of a roof about to commit suicide, you want to know what made him back out? sandwich, a fresh pickle and cream soda :]
small things in life tend to always give you hope for the bigger things don’t they? i am the most pessimistic person sometimes but when something so small makes my heart smile so noticeably … i saw TAKE IT! people can put a smile on, pretend that nothing is going on in their lives but their world could be falling apart right that second. do they ever want to show it? have you ever wondered why? i used to envy those people until i put myself in such a situation and guess what it’s better than going around being depressed, being sad, acting like you are dead rather to telling people HEY LOOK I MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH HELL BUT I’M DOING IT WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE! one thing i learned at the end of the day you are the one who will take care of yourself, brutal truth.
i know i haven’t been writing in here due to the fact of my exam prep but i guess this is the only place where i can get away and write my thoughts and feelings. sometimes you want to break things, you want to scream/yell, be miserable, cry and cry and cry for hours yet sometimes you just want to turn on some music and writeeeee, write and write.
leave everything to Him, trust me you won’t be disappointed.
beginning of a relationship:
guy- i won’t change so please don’t expect me to become something or someone else
girl- never said i wanted you to change : ]
few months down the road when they have “truly” fallen in love:
guy- i’ve changed haven’t i?
girl- mhmm *nods her head*
live & learn.
change is for the better.
the amount of stress i have today, indescribable. my thoughts are scattered everywhereee! i can’t sleep properly because my mind won’t just stop thinking of everything and anything. the only person i can actually talk to is busy and i don’t want to interfere and put my problems in front of them right now. life is never fair i say. when things go right something always has to go wrong. contradicting much?
yeaaah ofcourse! what can we do? i miss my friends back home today. when i moved here i realized how important my friends are to my life. they were my family back home and maybe even here i treat them like family. i really wish i was back home :/
so if i do good in my exams this year, i will buy myself a brand new professional camera. i think i deserve it after having such a year but only if i do good in my exams. i’m going to go cook myself dinner right now, cooking relieves stress. try it, it reaaaally works! after watching julie and julia i am inspired to do something like that :] she achieved something. maybe over the summer i should do something like that. something to always think about!
i wish i was a kid again : [
it’s my first ever blog! oh the excitement but as of now i am completely blank. that’s all due to how tired i am from studying. i need a break … from everything. maybe this will be my way of venting of anything & everything on my mind : ] actual blogging starts tomorrow, as of now i shall enjoy my chocolate milk and say goodnight.
i hope people start reading this : /
